Cuz I ain't no Hollaback Girl....

I just have to describe the last two days for everyone. Yesterday I was 2 hours late to work due road closures, traffic, and rain. I am sure you all have heard how we have had a pretty bad storm come through here in the past four weeks. My dad just informed me that a killer bolder fell onto Topanga Canyon, which is where I sometimes drive through to avoid traffic. But anyhoo, every road leading up to a canyon was closed and I am surrounded by a lot of different canyons. This meaning that everyone was trying to head down the 405. Well, three lanes on the 405 were closed due to some sinking issue. So, I thought about all the alternate routes I might have and all of them were closed according to the radio. Needless to say, I was extremely pissed off by the time I actually arrived at work.
I head home last night and the 405 south was fine, but as I look to my left I see that the 405 north is still having some major issues. I am thinking to myself, "What time am I going to have to get up for work tomorrow if this shit is still happening? Are they going to fix this mess?" See, I am the only manager in the mornings most of the time and so it is imperative for me to be on time. I get home and dial some number for highway information and of course it is one of those voice automated things. You do not push any numbers. You say the numbers. So, I start saying 4 0(as in the letter o) 5. The lady repeats back highway 90. I go back and forth with this until my roommate tells me to say zero. So, I say 4 zero 5. The lady understands me only she repeats it back 4 0(as in the letter o) 5. Why should I have to change it to a zero if she is repeating it back to me the way I wanted to say it? Anyway, I learned absolutely nothing from the information I was given. I decided I was going to have to get up hella early in case of any traffic issues.
I get up at 330am this morning. There was no traffic. There was nobody on the road. I don't have to be at work until 6am. I get to work an hour and a half early. Starbucks isn't even open. I end up falling asleep in my car, but waking up because I am freezing too death. Thoughts of quitting my job continually ran through my head. It was stupid of me to get up this early, but I am still learning.
I arrive quickly home from work. I decide to go workout where I notice a bunch of old men all wearing yellow shirts, yellow socks, and blue shorts. But they aren't playing a basketball game or anything. They are just walking throughout the YMCA. I watched as they weaved in and out of the different exercise rooms I would go in.
I head over to Vons(Safeway) to pick up some groceries. As I walk down one of the isles I hear this high screeching voice singing the words to Savage Gardens "Truly, Madly, Deeply." I look behind me and it's this 6'4 guy yelling the words to this song. I mean he was getting into it. I am thinking to myself, "Why is a man singing this song? And how does he know all the words? And why is his voice so bad?" I laugh as I continue to walk down the isle.
At checkout there ends up being a lady behind me screaming about how she hates Mickey Mouse and Disneyland sucks. I believe her words were, "Mickey Mouse is a mother fucker. Why the hell would I want to go to Disneyland?" She was loud and the thing about it was she was right behind me. She was in my personal space. I felt like I was on a Seinfeld episode. It was total chaos.
Now, I am at home trying to relax and laughing about the last two days. I know this stuff may not be funny and you kind of had to be there to see it. But you all know me and just picture me in these situations. It's nothing but comedy.