Remembering A Friend

May 26th has always been a bad day since the year 2002. On May 26th three years ago my friend Natalie was killed in a motorcycle accident in Douglas County, Colorado. It was said that she died instantly and did not suffer so for this I find some comfort in the whole thing. Natalie was one of my best friends from high school. If there was such a thing as a "second best friend" she would have been it. Natalie was a year older than me and I looked to her as an older sister. She was always my saving grace and whenever I felt like I was worth nothing she would somehow make me see that I was. I remember Natalie always telling me, "Blair, you are funny! No, I mean truly funny. Some people try and be funny and just end up looking like idiots. It just comes natural for you." This always made me feel good because being funny is what I pride myself on. I knew Natalie for about 10 years up until her death. I stayed in contact with her the first year in college and then we kind of lost contact. My mom and her mom are both nurses and worked together in Longmont so I would hear of her through my mom.I actually ran into her a few months before her death and I remember us saying we needed to get together and cetch up. We were both shocked to see each other and it was like something we thought we had lost had just been found. Naturally, with anyones death you start to think of how you should have done stuff differently. I wish I had kept in contact with her more. I wish I had seen her or made more of an effort. She never once did me wrong and I perhaps took this for granted. I mean I am not sure. I guess I just will always hope she knew how grateful I was for her at the time and how I looked up to her....It's weird because usually every year a week before her death I dream about her. I never dream about her but at this time. Natalie is the person who seems to pop up in my head at the most random times and I always just laugh. I have nothing but good memories....So, all I say is that when you have the people in your life that you love unconditionally, tell them. And tell them a lot. You never know when they may not be in your life anymore. You don't have to be friends with someone for the rest of your life but make sure the times that you are friends and love each other that you share that with each other. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I really want to believe that it was Natalie's time to go. But that is really hard for me to believe to this day. A beautiful person like that deserved to be on this Earth longer in my opinion. But I can't dwell on that and I don't think anybody should. She touched a lot of peoples lives and I am fortunate for the time I did have with her.

I hope you all know how much I love you!